UNCC rising Junior :)

These last few years have been trying to overcome many obstacles of completing school. But although I’m not on the same page as others I’m still getting there. I received my acceptance letter to UNCC around this time last year and literally fell to the ground in tears because I finally started realizing that my purpose on this earth has to have more meaning than I ever thought possible. I went through alot in the Fall 2014 semester: I struggled with financial issues, friendships and went through a terrible breakup around finals. I basically just said FUCK EVERYTHING!

Although I felt my whole world was spiraling out of control I decided to grasp a hold on my life and continue pushing because I refuse to be weak and let little or big setbacks keep me down. I brought my GPA back up this SPRING 2015 semester and was proud of myself because I knew I could do it I just had to encourage myself more. Enough of me though. Here are few tips for everyone returning back to school for the FALL 2015 semester….

1. STUDY STUDY STUDY: You may think you can just review for a class the night before or cram and be successful, but this will not help you in the long run. And if you can do that and succeed then that’s great for you.
2. TAKE NOTES: If the teacher says this will be on your test TRUST ME it will. A whole class period of the teacher reading straight from a Powerpoint is absolutely the worse, but somewhere in there you will find some useful information along the way. The best way to take on these are to take brief notes on each section to help you remember the information, but don’t ignore it just because the teacher is reading straight from it.
3. HIGHLIGHTERS ARE YOUR BFF: If I rent books the first question I ask is can I highlight in it and not be penalized because that’s the best way to remember information in textbooks (for me anyway). This is useful for 10 plus pages for handouts also.
4. READ THE REQUIRED READING: If you are assigned a book that you are not interested in just read the damn book. You will be quizzed and tested and if you don’t read it you will regret it I promise.
5. LEAVE NEGATIVE VIBES BEHIND: As I said before I let my financial problems, family and friends, and my breakup affect my first semester at UNCC and it will drag you down if you let it. Always try to stay positive while studying and know that everything on the outside is not going to help you get that diploma only you can put in the work to get the results.
6. ENJOY YOURSELF: I really want to be done with the late night study sessions, tests and ridiculous papers, but I made the choice to stay in school to further my education and as much as I dislike it. I know that I will be successful and it will all be worth my blood,sweat and tears 🙂 haha no blood I hope! Just make the most out of every situation while in college.

I hope everyone has a great FALL 2015 semester and always stay focused and realize this is all temporary. You will be fine and don’t let one bad grade or teacher discourage you. There are so many people waiting for you to FAIL, but don’t let them  win. YOU GOT THIS !

HAPPY BLOGGING

The one who almost broke me

When I was a young girl I always imagined my life being a fairy tale when I grew older. I would meet my prince charming, have kids, and live this magical life. But it turns out life can leave a bitter but rewarding taste afterwards. I had a chance to fall so madly in love with someone and allow their entire existence to consume me. The love that makes you so sick that without them you feel like nothing. I could never say yes I can honestly live without them that was NEVER me. Until I later realized that once we had put each other through so much bullshit that even the happily ever after may not be so happy.

My love story began in 2010 with my once one and only. Just as every love story begins we were head over heels for each other. Countless nights spent together, long phone conversations, and those god awful facebook posts. Then things suddenly started shifting and I was becoming this overly controlling person, accusing, and constantly complained all the time. Now I won’t put all the blame on myself because before I started doing all this others were getting his attention and he would entertain it. Me being the insecure person I was would snoop around and each time I would find something. As the saying goes, “if you look you’re going to find something”. I think I was looking for something to push me to the edge so I could finally say he was just like every other asshole I had given my interest to. But, every time I stayed and ignored my feelings because I always thought that nobody could ever love me like he did. Insecure, lost and trying to search for something but I didn’t even know what I was looking for.

Our fights got worse and feelings kept getting pushed to the side. We had tried to talk, but always ended up at the same dead end. A year before our relationship ended we decided maybe a new change of scenery would be great for us, so we started our journey of moving from Greenville to Charlotte. Before the move things had calmed down a little because we were looking forward to turning a new leaf together. But, I quickly learned that you can’t move forward until you’ve dealt with your past demons. The big city brought more challenges to us. Working constantly and school really took a toll on us, but at this point I had began to stop fighting it and started letting things go how they wanted. After a huge amount of support from friends and family I started to realize I wasn’t alone and I didn’t make a mistake of moving to Charlotte and to this day I still don’t regret it. When our last big fight happened the weekend of my birthday I said to myself and him that this was the last time I would be treated less than what I deserve. He broke it off and about a week after it happened I had honestly accepted that we were not meant for each other. I had lost myself for so long trying to care for someone else that I forgot about me. Now once I accepted and let go of everything is when he wanted me back. But the crazy part about it was no matter how many years we spent struggling together I no longer wanted him anymore. After battling with him for so long I decided what was best for me was to walk away and I did.

Many may say I’m a shitty person for not trying harder including him, but at the end of the day my happiness matters. Again I appreciate being able to experience that love with someone that many will never have the chance to, but at what cost does beating yourself up and never feeling good enough end? I fell out of love with him way before our breakup, but it took me losing him and myself to finally see that. The tears I cried were happy tears because I felt so free from all the bad things that had happen. I made a vow after that to never lose me again and never let anyone else take me for granted. I’m worth everything and I will never let a man define the person that I am. I didn’t go through all the obstacles in life just to be knocked down over and over. And when I look back at our love story I don’t regret one thing that happened because it helped grow and be where I am now. So this was just another lesson learned in my life and I will continue to be a better me today than I was yesterday. Thank you for helping me learn things about myself that I never thought I would get to know. But all the good and bad we experienced together has ended and I’m going to continue on with the rest of my chapter I have began without you. Thank you for everything but all birds aren’t meant to be caged and I’m finally free.